We live in a crazy world, and for many of us, we’ve become a product of our environment. We’ve been taught that being ‘busy’ or having a ‘jammed’ schedule is a sign of our success or importance. As we find ourselves saying “Look how full my diary is”, “Look how much I have to do at work/home”, or “Look at all the people I have to meet’.
Is it a need or a want?
But what if we were doing this not because we ‘had to’ but instead because we ‘wanted to’ because it was serving us in some way?
Many of us enjoy boasting or complaining about our crazy lives, but I often wonder how this is serving us. Is it the buzz, the thrill, the excitement of going from one task, place, or person to the next? Does it make us feel important? Does it make us feel productive? Does it somehow stroke our ego to have a busy life? Or perhaps it’s escapism and avoidance?
Often, when we slow down enough to create space to think, that’s when our mind starts to relax and when the cogs really start to turn. But are many of us afraid of that process? Afraid of what we might learn about ourselves? Afraid of the introspection? Afraid of the discomfort?
Why do so many of us find sitting with our thoughts uncomfortable? What are we really afraid of? Are we afraid of learning something that we can’t unlearn, and then, as a result, it would involve us taking action? Are we afraid of our subconscious becoming ‘real’ because when we give our thoughts time and space to be heard, that’s what they become, ‘real’?
Are we afraid of reality or truth, and if so, why?
The confronting truths that are found within the thinking space are almost like holding up a billboard that screams, “I AM SCARED”
When we bring that billboard out into the open and we’re forced to face it, look at it, and process it, it can feel triggering, and we feel it would be easier if it just disappeared. But why? Because we’re scared, scared that the paradigm of our current reality will crumble, and again, the fears that usually underpin this are
- What will it be replaced with?
- Will it be replaced with anything better?
- Will it be replaced at all?
- What actions am I going to have to take as a result of this crumbling?
- And who will I become in the process?
We don’t want our worlds to shift, change, or crumble because, as humans, we are imperfect and often programmed with a default setting of fear and safety.
We are inherently lazy, we like routine, and we crave comfort, but what if these programmes were unhelpful? What if they were wrong? What if we were to crave something different?
Keeping us safe or keeping us stuck?
The programmes for which we crave comfort are intended to keep us safe, but what if instead of keeping us safe, they were keeping us stuck? Stuck in our patterns of overdoing and underthinking, stuck in our fears of change, stuck in our fears of the unknown, and stuck in our fear of action.
But what if we knew with certainty that what was coming was greater than what’s been? What if we knew the next version of us was stronger, more resilient, powerful, and more skilled than the previous one? Would we be so scared then if we knew or believed this to be true? Would we be so scared to slow down and think? Would we be so scared to be introspective? Would we be so scared of our realities crumbling, or would we look forward to it in some sadistic way? Because despite this discomfort, we knew it was making way for a stronger, more resilient us.
Embracing change
If you weren’t to overdo this week and create space and time to think instead, what would change? What would you learn? Who might you become?
When you find yourself saying “I’m too busy” or “I don’t have time”? Can you try shifting that narrative to say, “I will make time.” and “I will prioritise myself” because when we tell ourselves, “I don’t have time”, in reality, what we’re saying is “It’s not a priority” or in fact “I’m not a priority”. While that might feel triggering to say or hear, that is what we are showing, because we don’t look like our words; we look like our habits.
So, do you have the habit of overdoing and underthinking? Do you have the habit of putting yourself last? Do you have the habit of serving others and overgiving to the point that you become resentful? Well, maybe there was a lesson in there for you? But you’ll need to slow down enough to hear it.
Thinking and doing make a perfect team, but only when they’re both given an equal chance to play their role.
Seeking growth? Here’s how I can help:
- Follow me, Natalie Neilson, on Instagram/TikTok/LinkedIn/Substack/YouTube. Tune into my podcast, The Power of You (Available on Apple/Spotify podcasts) or sign up for my emails: https://natalieneilson.com/
- Enquire about speaking/workshops
- 1:1 growth sessions (limited)
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https://ttmcoaching.com/. You can also follow TTM Coaching on LinkedIn, Instagram, and YouTube.
DM me or email for more info: Nataliej@ttmcoaching.com