I was reflecting on this saying recently, and it made me wonder how much truth there was behind it? Because collaboration is such a key component of our lives and takes place in so many forms, whether it’s at work, in sport, with our family, or with our friends. Collaboration brings out both the best and worst in us. Why? Because collaboration is a mirror. It amplifies our strengths and our weaknesses.
While we might prefer to focus on our strengths, the real growth lies in our weaknesses, the gaps, the blind spots, the things we can’t see yet, but collaboration illuminates.
But if we believed that to be true, why do we find collaboration so challenging? People often say, ‘more people, more problems.’ But why couldn’t the equation be ‘more people = more impact’?
Because when you think about it, anything incredible in the world requires people and collaboration to make it happen. Nobody achieves anything remarkable alone, not the parents raising children, leaning on their family, friends, and teachers, nor the athletes working on their PBs with coaches and trainers, or the business leader striving for excellence, working alongside mentors, peers, and colleagues.
Individual vs collective responsibility
We may be individually responsible for our mindset, habits, beliefs, and actions, but so much of our growth comes from experiences outside of ourselves, whether that’s through our work, families, hobbies, or our travels.
While our drivers are internal, growth happens when we get out and experience life. So if we were to approach the world (and collaboration) with the mindset of, “What is this trying to teach me?” then surely the only option is to learn and improve?
I think of it like driving a car. Your state of mind, your destination, and the time you’re willing to drive are all individual. But getting to that destination is a team sport.
The car must be in working order. The road must be safe. Other drivers must stop at red lights, follow the rules, and pay attention. We rely on that, just as in collaboration, we rely on others to play their part too.
So do we ever really achieve anything alone?
Yes, some things are in our control that we and we alone are responsible for, and we must do our utmost to perform those to the best of our ability. But outside of that, we are relying on other people to do the same, to work with us, facilitating and supporting us to reach our desired destinations.
If we know this in theory, why is it so hard to put into practice?
That driver who came too close may make us reflect: Maybe I didn’t indicate in time? The tire that we popped on a pothole in the road might make us think: Maybe I should have looked more closely or gone a different route altogether?
Collaboration is a mirror
Collaboration forces us to look at ourselves and is a ‘vehicle’ for self-reflection, and we may not always like what we see. This is where we can find it easier to blame the other driver or the unrepaired road. But that’s projection!
So it begs the question, do we react to others because of who they are and what they’ve done, or instead because we don’t like what they’ve shown us about ourselves?
Perhaps they’ve mirrored back to us that our communication needs to improve or that our clarity and their clarity aren’t the same? Perhaps they’ve mirrored back where we had made assumptions about their desires? Or that our goals and values were never aligned in the first place?
Self-reflection can be uncomfortable
It can be uncomfortable to see these ‘flawed’ parts of ourselves. But what if we saw collaboration as a mirror that amplifies our weaknesses, not to shame us, but to make us aware of them so that we have the opportunity to improve and grow? Wouldn’t that be a real gift?
Because we can’t improve what we’re unaware of. And we can’t gain awareness unless we’re willing to look.
No single person is perfect, and we are never finished growing, so what would it take for us to see the ‘feedback’ that collaboration brings us as a gift? A gift that helps us grow?
So maybe there aren’t just two sides to every story, and then the truth. Maybe we’re all right with each of us offering another vantage point on the same challenge? And surely that has to be a good thing?
When we have more people, we have more perspectives. More perspectives mean a wider view. And with a wider view, we gain greater clarity, enabling us to learn from the past and move forward with greater certainty in the future.
Collaboration is a mirror. Are you listening to what it’s showing you?
Seeking growth and deeper self-awareness for yourself or your team? Here’s how we can help:
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